No relationship is ever stable; each goes through a regular cycle of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair’. A healthy relationship is not one in which ruptures never occur, but one where both parties are willing and able to repair them. Sign up to our mailing list to receive 10% off your first order with us: https://r1.dotdigital-pages.com/p/6TU0-63X/hellotsol
If you want to keep working on your mental well-being and self-understanding, download our hugely helpful new app now: https://bit.ly/3uyXqG1
For information on The School of Life’s learning and wellbeing solutions for businesses, including workshops and talks, visit https://bit.ly/3ICqvGw
Email business@theschooloflife.com or join our monthly business newsletter: https://bit.ly/3ICEJHq
Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join
For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2VSxR1c
Our website has therapy, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/3oG1WgZ
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/33VjHRr
“Many tensions within relationships can usefully be looked at through the prism of a concept much used within psychotherapy: the idea of ‘rupture’ and ‘repair.’ For psychotherapists, every relationship is at risk of moments of frustration or as the term has it, of ‘rupture’, when we suffer a loss of trust in another person as someone in whom we can safely deposit our love, and whom we believe can be kind and understanding of our needs.
The ruptures are often quite small, and to outside observers perhaps imperceptible: one person fails to respond warmly to another’s greeting; someone tries to explain an idea to their partner who shrugs and says off-handedly that they have no idea what they’re on about; in front of friends, a lover shares an anecdote which casts the partner in a less than flattering light. Or the rupture can be more serious: someone calls someone a stupid fool and breaks a door. A birthday is forgotten. An affair begins…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist:
http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships
You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
ArtRake Studio Animations
https://www.artrake.com/
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Vale Productions
https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/
That was so beautiful 😢
Betrayal is not fixable
So, you say that we have to accept that we are all toxic, egoistic, stupid, self-centred and that we have to work with that. But where do I draw a line?
Why is the man begging at 1.45 ?
This is nice.
The School of Animal Husbandry……
I showed a bit too much tenderness no wonder she left i apologized she didn't even forgive just skipped the topic
Why is the lady instantly threesoming
Woah woah wait , we are NOT learning to forgive affairs.
I love my wife more than anything in this world and I let my insecure thoughts and addiction to sex destroy our marriage. I would do anything to have her see that in a changed man and to keep her in my life. But I don’t want her to stay unless that’s what she wants because I want her to be happy no matter what
If she cheats on you, there is no going back. As a man, you have to walk away from that. That is not a rupture, that is a complete destruction of the relationship
the affair scene is killing me🤣
I would ask my ex for feedback on issues he thought I had. He said I was doing better. In the end though he said he only saw me improving for myself and not for our relationship which really f-ing hurt. Like dude you could've told me and helped me. He also said he was more mature than me. The part that pisses me off is he thought he was better than me because he more mature and he always thought I never took accountability. Personally I feel like he's a hypocrict in many ways, but I still respect him. Caused me a lot of insecurity tbh.
I know the video leans on romantic relationships. But it applies to friendships, too. There is a friendship I ruptured and likely broke their trust in. I have done the first, but I guess I cannot control being given the second.
we just broke up 1 day ago it was night around 11pm i was so shocked that she wanted to end things w me we've been together for almost 1yr and 4months in october 4 but she chose to end our relationship i couldn't process things because everytime we have miasundertandings we always choose to fix it and make our way to fix everything i just don't understand why she chose to end everything i still have small hope that we can get back togethee bcs we've been breakinh up for many times bcs of impulsiveness of eachothers descisions if she just really know how i care and love her and how much pain i have right now i could've done better than before if we just fixed it i love you so much dhane you always have part in me and always will:)
Thanks!
this feels like a slightly more cognitive description of something that also happens at the level of your nervous system – feeling safe in your body, feeling in alignment with another…or not. Something found through combining Self Awareness (especially bodily sensations /emotional awareness of your own feelings inside you), and Communication (to confirm the other person's viewpoint, feelings and inner sense of safety), and letting that go back and forth until you land somewhere that feels like understanding.
Glad that Rupture and Repair is getting talked about more as a skill one can learn to solve a lot of problems.
The fights I had with my gf were terrible. We never listened to each other. Recently, I have started playing question games like "Lovify". We have to guess what our partner likes, it helped us work out our differences. We were able to explain our wants and needs more clearly. Maybe it will help other people too 💞
What a lovely and useful video ❤ thanks so much!
Why do he say I talk too much when he’s done with a conversation?? It offends me which causes me to get aggressive and irritated so I start fussing because he won’t listen to my feelings I hate to argue with him.